Life Before Baby Girl

This past weekend I was in my former home of Minneapolis and it gave me plenty of time to celebrate, reflect and self-analyze. One of the big topics of conversation (besides the obvious fact that Brian and Leah were getting married) was the upcoming birth of our first child. The good news was that despite our nerves, M didn't give birth early and I am now back home ready at a moment's notice to drive to Riverside Hospital.

Now as we look forward, I felt like it was time to update the old blog with a few words on life before Baby Girl. (This was actually my friend Shelley's advice.) First off - it has been made crystal clear to me how my life will change with our family growing by 50%. It was a common theme from recent parents that kind of went like "Having a kid is the most awful thing in the world. You won't sleep. You will fight. Your life is no longer about yourself. You will lose friends. Did I mention you won't sleep? Oh yeah, but it's great." I take that from a group of people, so please no one take offense to this somewhat accurate description of the advice on getting prepared to have a child.

Anyway, my current life consists of a lot of fun activities surrounded by a stressful, but rewarding job. Unlike in years past, I do love my job and find that often my conversation comes back to that subject. For example, I just finished a text conversation with a coworker about work, personalities, meetings, etc. It seems strange to me that people that often really don't like work (and there are plenty of people out there) seem to talk about it often. While I do have my complaints, I feel like an impostor in that I do like what I am doing on a daily basis. And if you think I am just am saying this in a public forum, then grab me after a few drinks and ask me the same question and see if you get a different answer.

Other aspects of my life include plenty of traveling for both fun and work. This year I've been to  Chicago (hockey game and visiting friends), New York (work), Miami (work), San Antonio (birthday/babymoon), Indianapolis (basketball), Montreal (Bachelor Party) and then most recently Minneapolis. I've been on a plane for three consecutive weeks, which is somewhat of an issue since I'm still not completely over the debacle of the US Airways flight form Miami that I wrote about here. Still I love traveling, and can't picture my life without it.

Also, another thing I enjoy is going out with friends in Columbus. It isn't an unfamiliar sight to see me at the bars in the Short North with the same group of people. My perfect weekend would be a wonderful date night with M (maybe Cafe Istanbul and a movie) on Friday and then out drinking with friends on Saturday. I know that a lot of this will change with the new addition to our family, but I think it is important to at least try and keep a balanced life.

On the smaller scale I love sleeping in (9:30am sounds good to me), reading the Sunday NY Times and taking naps on the weekend. I know this will sound fanciful in a month. Also, I've been on a walking kick lately as I got a fitbit and have been tracking my "steps" for over a month now. I've been walking about 11k steps a day, which is just over my goal number of 10k. I'm not sure how long this will last, but as it currently stands I enjoy this change in my life. I feel more active, more apart of my community and as a side benefit I'm closer to my playing weight. It does cut into my tv watching time, but when I am lazy and need to relax, I do like watching The Daily Show, Game of Thrones and Downton Abbey.

Also, when I am lazy I enjoy reading magazines like Kiplinger's, Money and Time, which means I am officially a middle-age man who likes conversations about personal finance and world events. Also, I've been on a kick with David Halberstam books and am currently reading one on the 1950s appropriately called The Fifties. There isn't much better than sitting in my backyard on a sunny day with a cocktail and something to read.

My life is generally one of leisure and fun. I do have some complaints about people being passive-aggressive or ungrateful, but I can already look back on those concerns and think that they probably aren't too important. Thankfully the big stuff (my wife, our house, our finances) are in order and instead of worrying about the next paycheck, I can be concerned about things of a smaller scale. In looking over Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs we are pretty much at the top, which isn't a terrible place to be.

Hopefully with the lack of sleep in front of me, I can come back eventually and update this blog to see truly how much life has changed. Maybe it will be as bad as everyone says? I think my expectations are properly lowered, but still I am excited about welcoming Baby Girl Malphurs into this world.

The Incompetence of US Airways

Air travel has always been a big part of my life. I've flown across both the Pacific and the Atlantic. I've flown commercial and private. I've flown in coach and first class. Lately it seems like a month doesn't go by without at least one flight. I'm not a novice when it comes flying, and that is why I can write with some confidence that last week's flight on US Airways was the most terrifying flight of my life.

Last Thursday, I was to fly from Miami (on store visits) to Charlotte and then back to Columbus. We were to arrive back in to Columbus, go to work on Friday and then M and I were flying from Columbus to San Antonio for our babymoon. That was the first of what ended up being three plans.

On the first flight from Miami to Charlotte there was some turbulence in the air, which was concerning, but nothing that hasn't happened before on countless other flights. It went from concerning to terrifying when the pilot came on the loudspeaker and in a worried/frantic voice said "Everyone sit down. Flight attendants prepare the oxygen masks. We need to make an emergency landing in Orlando." My coworker sitting next to me immediately turned pale and started sobbing. From then on we listened to every little sound on the plane as if we could control what was going on if things went poorly. When the plane made a loud rattling sound that after about 5 minutes just abruptly stopped into dead silence, it was hard not to think that at least one the engines went out. It felt like we were gliding like a paper airplane.

Now looking back it is is hard to know what ended up happening. It is unlikely that something like the engine going out actually happened, but at the time the only thing that could go through my head was the pilot's scared voice about the oxygen masks. Of course we landed ok (thus this blog post) and ended up getting a hotel in Orlando. It wasn't a very pleasant experience, and one that I blame completely on the incompetence of US Airways. I would suggest that you do whatever it takes to fly someone other than them. Am I being too harsh? In addition to the above consider;

• The line to get a hotel was about 3 hours long, so we ended up booking our own hotel in Orlando with our own money. US Airways was supposed to pay for the hotel (like most airlines), but we haven't seen a dime towards those costs.
• I was going to fly from Orlando through Charlotte to San Antonio to meet up with M on our babymoon. My thought was that it made no sense to fly all the way back to Columbus on Friday to get back on a plane to fly to San Antonio. The first flight I had in the morning from Orlando to Charlotte ended up also having problems. Instead of flying into Charlotte, the plane had to land back in Orlando. 
• When I got off my 2nd diverted flight, I talked to US Airways rebooking agent (now on speed dial) and was informed that 1) I would have to fly back to Columbus and not San Antonio and 2) when I asked about compensation, I was told I could send an email.
• The result was 4 consecutive meals at the airport and 22 out of 30 hours spent on a plane or in the airport. I had 45 minutes at home to change my bag, take a shower and get ready to go back to the airport for my next couple flights.

So the end result is that no I don't think I am being too harsh. 

Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence

I just donated money to the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. I would recommend that if you share my beliefs, do the same.

2nd Amendment

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

That's it. That's the 2nd Amendment. Does it mean that everyone has the freedom to have guns or does it mean that the military is allowed to have guns? What about the part (you know two out of the first three words) about being "well regulated." How can the framers of the Constitution anticipate the type of guns that are now readily available? 

People use those words as the end of any debate. Rational thought? No need when you have the text of the 2nd amendment that ensures the right to "keep and bear Arms. It is hard to have an intelligent conversation about someone when they are stuck on words written 200+ years ago. If you strongly believe in the 2nd amendment then you might just want to stop any and all conversation about the subject. Your mind is made up and nothing can convince you otherwise.

I think that the 2nd Amendment is ambiguous and not something that applies (or should apply) to assault weapons. Also, certain types of gun control (waiting periods, background checks, etc) make sense and still should be able to safely fit the qualifications of the 2nd amendment. Just because one might believe in the the 2nd amendment doesn't mean one can't also believe in some forms of gun control. It is both exciting and depressing to read about how we have technology to make safer guns. Why can't we have that conversation? Why do the words quoted at the beginning of the article mean we can't work on technology that makes sure that only the owner of the gun can fire the gun? Nothing in that article suggests to me that the Federal government is going to be taking away your guns. 

Also, are Conservatives and gun fanatics ok with mentally ill people to have guns? If you aren't against any gun control at all then you could just as easily use some of the same arguments to say that their rights to bear Arms shouldn't be infringed. Where do you draw the line? Should a 5 year old have a gun? It seems like a ridiculous argument, but then again the NRA president thinks that more guns will help solve the problem of gun violence. Of course. The Onion might have framed the debate best by replacing guns with Gorillas in "Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack." Does that argument make any less sense then some of the NRA's public statements?

I'm not saying that isn't ok to like guns. You can and you can support the 2nd Amendment. You can support as little regulations as possible. However, if you do you are also supporting gun violence. Sorry, but you can't have it both ways. Just like you can't expect less taxes, a strong defense, no changes to Medicare/Medicaid/Social Security and a balanced budget. There isn't a coincidence that the *gun homicide rate per 100,000 in America is 3.2%, while in other countries like Canada (0.1%), Australia (0.1%), Japan (0%) and Norway (0.5%). Americans own more guns and have "no federal regulations banning the semiautomatic assault weapons or large capacity ammo magazines often used in mass shootings."

*Stats are from the January 14th, 2013 Time Magazine.

We have more guns than other countries and we have more gun violence. We have an organization (the NRA) that refuses to have an open conversation about guns and a political party that (Republicans) that will not stand up to them. Also, we have voters that like the access to these type of guns and the very limited regulations. Again, you can think that way, but please stop saying you are "praying for the victims" when something like Virginia Tech or Sandy Hook happens. You are part of the problem. The price to pay to living in a country that is obsessed with protecting the 2nd Amendment are mass murders like this. That doesn't mean we shouldn't look at other ways of preventing mass murders, but to take any gun control off the table means we aren't addressing the main problem. 

I'm tired of all of it. With M being pregnant, I don't like living in country that allows this violence to happen without any solutions even being discussed. I'm planning on donating money to the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence and will match any contributions (up to a certain amount) that readers of this blog also make. I'm looking for help and hope that people will no longer turn a blind eye to something that is a fixable problem.

How to choose a college?

For most of your early life decisions are made for you. As a child you aren't able to pick where you live, go to school, etc. In my case I had loving parents that made the correct decisions (besides giving me a Game Boy or putting a TV in my room) about my life. Now of course there are certain decisions that you can influence, but for the most part they are minor. That all changes when you graduate from high school and choose what college to attend. 

For me, I can remember that decision making process clearly. My parents provided advice when asked, but mostly let me chart my own course with that decision. The autonomy with that decision was something that was extremely motivating. I ended up applying to 7 schools as far north Wabash College in Indiana as far east as the University of Richmond and as far south/west as LSU. Out of all of those I picked Miami University, and I haven't regretting that decision once.

The reasons why I picked Miami was that I wanted a new experience in a new part of the country and Miami fit all my other qualifications: commitment to undergraduate education, college town, mid-sized university. One thing I hadn't considered when looking at schools, but lucked into by choosing Miami  was Miami's strong study abroad program. Like many of my classmates, I took advantage of this program, and I am thankful to have spent a summer in Asia. 

Picking Miami changed my life and could possibly be the biggest, most important decision I made when you consider the butterfly effect. That was the first time my life hit a fork in the road, and if I hadn't gone to Miami there is almost zero chance I would end up in Minneapolis, etc, etc. 

Why am I thinking about this at this current moment? I just read this great article from Frank Bruni on How to Choose a College? When you think about how big of a decision picking a school is shouldn't this article be required reading? The below passage from the article is something that I fully believe is true:

"If you're among the lucky who can factor more than cost and proximity into where you decide to go, college is a ticket to an adventure beyond the parameters of what you've experienced so far. It's a passport to the far side of what you already know. It's a chance to be challenged, not coddled. To be provoked, not pacified."

Rasheed Sulaimon

It has become almost conventional wisdom within the Duke community that Rasheed Sulaimon is a "better fit" for Duke than Austin Rivers. Obviously there is some disappointment from last year's team that started off well, beat UNC in one of the greatest games of all time and then become one of only six teams to lose to a 15th seed in the NCAA tournament. A lot of the team's shortcomings were blamed on Rivers. He seemed like a natural target since he was very highly recruited, the son of an NBA player and overall carried himself as a jerk. There was somewhat of a "over promise / under deliver" aspect that left a bitter taste with Rivers.

Before we get to Sulaimon, lets first look at this year's Duke team. Nobody will argue this team is playing much better than last year, but if you needed any proof the top 5 returning players (Plumlee, Curry, Kelly, Cook and Thornton) all have better FG%s than last year. Mason Plumlee in particular has gone from a *curse word to possibly the best player in the country. Because of the entire team's improvement this team has gone undefeated through the nation's toughest schedule.

*I would often yell Plumlee after a turnover, missed free throw or stupid defensive gamble.I can only assume my wife thought Plumlee was some type of curse word. Really I just thought Mason was Josh McRoberts 2.0 and would never live up to the hype.

So the team is playing much better and has had an amazing start to the season. With that start people have looked for a reason why. Is it because Mason Plumlee worked on his free throw shooting? Is it because Quinn Cook has made huge leap? Is it because Ryan Kelly improved as a defender? All of those are factors, but a lot of people seem to be pointing soley to trading out Sulaimon for Rivers.

The thing is that I don't disagree that the switch has helped the team. I tolerated Rivers, but love watching Sulaimon play. Give me even 2.5 more years of watching him play and he might reach Nolan Smith/Jon Scheyer/Shane Battier level for me. However, I find it confusing that people automatically point to Sulaimon being a better fit or more of a Duke type player. What about this? Sulaimon is just a better player than Rivers.

Let's compare.

Sulaimon was the 12th ranked recruit compared to Rivers being 3rd, so while everyone assume Rivers was going to be a NBA level talent, it isn't like people thought poorly of Sulaimon. And then when you look at actual play you see that Sulaimon has a better FG% (44% to 43%), better FT% (84% to 66%) and better 3PT% (40% to 36%). He also has more rebounds and assists per per game, while averaging almost a turnover less. And if stats aren't your thing then just watch both of them play and see who you think is a better defender. So yes he is a better fit and this team does have much better chemistry. However, I think it is also clear that Sulaimon is just a much better player than Rivers. That combined with the improvement from everyone else has made this team a legitimate threat to win the national title. Now can we get back to wondering if Jabari Parker is enough of a Duke-type player?

12/12/12 - 1 year anniversary

It seems like a decent amount of people are noting the uniqueness of today's date of 12/12/12, but for me I can't help but think of 12/12/11. One year ago today I started my current job at Limited Brands. It has been a long and fun year, and if you received my Christmas card and letter then you would have seen the big highlights. Some of the lesser highlights is just how different life is right now on a daily basis. I still generally feel the same (happy), tell the same stories (sometimes repeated) and drink the same whiskey. Still the little nuances have added up to a point where looking back there has been a big monumental shift in what I do. I don't want to write anything negative amount my former company, because I liked working there and still consider a lot of former coworkers to be friends. It was a good way of spending four years. However, my job right now is just so much better. I feel engaged with the work I do and with 365 days under the belt, I can say with complete disclosure that I like what I am doing.

Of course there are days of frustration, but for the most part this job is a great fit. I love the analytical work, the people and the unique experiences that come with this job. It would have been almost unbelievable a year ago for me to know that I would be traveling on a private jet to Boise, California, Chicago and Texas. The work that I do is almost completely different than the work I did at the Well.

And in my personal life things have changed even more than professionally. My wife and I have had to get used to living in Columbus, and while we still miss Minneapolis it is pretty clear that this is now home. One of the most obvious reasons for that is because we bought a house here. I feel very fortunate to have found a house in the area of the city we wanted and at a price that gives us some financial flexibility. Also, after having lived in this house for a few months now we both really just like the house. This weekend I worked on the basement and every day it feels more and more like this place is coming together.

And to announce some bigger news (that you probably already know if you are reading this) - M is pregnant. We are thrilled/blessed/excited and are looking forward to adding to our family in May. Also, we find out in 8 days the baby's gender, so that should be a great early Christmas present.

It really seems like everything is coming in place. I wish sometimes I could tell the people that doubted me or questioned my decisions that right now I can't imagine being in another spot. Life isn't perfect, but it is still pretty good.