Family trip to Minnesota

It's amazing how some things in life change and others stay completely the same. I know that is not exactly an original thought, but after a weekend back in Minnesota it really rings true to me. M and I's life has changed so much with new jobs, a new city, a new house and big new life stage with a daughter. However, being back in Minnesota it was as if we were almost 24 year olds again at the Lone Tree. My old boss at Honeywell still had the same humor, downtown was still really fun and my drinking buddies were still ready and willing to share stories of guys trips past over multiple rounds of whiskey.

There will always be a part of me that looks back on the years I spent in Minneapolis fondly, and I think having a connection to the city in the future is important. I've now been back three times in the two and a half years since moving from Columbus, and while I probably can't keep up that rate, it would be nice to have periodic trips back. There will always be a part of me that wishes we still lived there, even if I enjoy the advantages of where we currently live.

The one big thing that has changed with our lives is our daughter, and traveling with her was something that was a big concern. She had never been on a plane before, and we were extremely concerned about the ins and outs of traveling with a child. I don't know if we were lucky or if it isn't as big of a deal, but it really couldn't have gone much better traveling with her. She slept for 75% of the first flight and 100% of the second flight, and to say that was a relief would be an understatement.

Other random thoughts from the trip:

1. One of the best sandwiches of all time is the Surdyk's wine bar in the Minneapolis airport. Seriously try the Italian Stallion (no onions) if you ever have a free 30 minutes at MSP.
2. When traveling - be the easy person to travel with - not the difficult one. M is thankfully a good traveling companion, who makes my life easier by looking up directions, coordinating activities with friends and keeping me sane.
3. Being hungover with children around is absolutely terrible. I knew this before, but it is worth repeating and considering again next time I think another whiskey is a good idea.
4. I miss the people I work with, but not the work. It is nice to know that on a day to day basis the work I am currently doing is better than at any other time before.
5. The food scene in Minneapolis is really, really good. From old standbys like Amore Victoria to a somewhat new experience at the Smack Shack (we had gone to the food truck, but not the restaurant) to eating my way through downtown Minneapolis on Friday night (Bradstreet Crafthouse is worth going back to time and time again), it was all outstanding.
6. Minneapolis is still very cold. We lucked out with weather on Friday/Saturday, but the cold rain of today provided a stark contrast to the weather in Columbus. It felt like going from winter to spring traveling from Minneapolis to Columbus.
7. Twins game> Clippers game....and it isn't close at all.
8. Now that going to Target Field isn't as trendy as it was when the stadium opened, you can get close seats for not very much. We paid $50/seat for seats between home and 3rd that were 2nd row behind the Champions Club. 

9. Minneapolis is an underrated city - and not just by the country at-large - M's old coworkers didn't really believe us when we said we planned this trip to visit friends and eat good food. 
10. Good hosts can make all the difference. Thankfully we were set up all weekend with some of the best hosts around. I can't say enough about their hospitality in letting them into their home. L loved crawling around and playing with their two kids. It was such a better option than a hotel.

Being a parent

If you wanted to know what it is like being a parent consider the amount of time that I have gone between posts. I know it is a cliche to complain about how much life changes with a child and how you are so busy right now, but the cliche has some truth. Things do change. Life is much busier. It isn't so much that I don't have time to myself, but rather that I don't seem to have long periods of time to devout to something like writing a blog post. I have time, but it is almost always interrupted time. It seems like the second I am able to get comfortable then either L starts crying or I remember something that I need to do.

Anyway, I have some time right now, so let me get down some random thoughts in no particular order.

One thing I have heard over and over again is about how time goes by so quickly. It doesn't. It feels like 38 lifetimes ago that M and I were DINKS living it up in San Antonio on our babymoon. Maybe with more years under my belt I will feel that way, but right now it feels like it has been a long 9 months.

Everyone has baby advice...even and sometimes especially when I am not asking for or in search of any advice. For example L is cosleeping with us. Besides the occasional bad nights (and we are on a bad stretch right now) I don't mind it. If you would have told 25 year old me that I would be in shock, but now that I am actually in that situation it isn't what I thought it would be like. Anyway, I sometimes tell friends or coworkers about that and almost immediately they start to give advice. I know they have the best intentions (or maybe they just like hearing themselves talk), but I don't actually need their advice. M and I are doing what is best for our family and I don't think our decisions really matter one bit to them.

You do learn how to prioritize things better. You also learn that a trip to the grocery store or to work can sometimes feel like a break. It isn't that you necessarily like doing these activities more than you used to, but sometimes it seems necessary to break things up.

One thing I heard from a close coworker in my previous job was that you should enjoy your home because you will spend a lot of time in it once you have a kid. That is 100% true. The days and nights that used to be spent going out to eat or drinking with friends or to attending a sporting event are almost exclusively replaced with staying home, fixing dinner and watching shows on DVR. With that in mind I am glad to still really enjoy our home and our neighborhood. I can sometimes sour on Columbus (I still often miss Minneapolis), but living in Bexley is one big plus.

The final thing I have learned about being is a parent is that it isn't all gloom and doom. I feel like the modern parent (and the modern parent blog) are all about being realistic about the negatives of raising a child. I appreciate their honesty, bluntness and realism, and I certainly find that better than people who turn a blind eye and are just positive about the joys of parenting. However, I find that being a parent is a lot better than my expectations. I will try to get into that more later, but I have a crying baby to take care of right this instant.

2013 Nba Draft

It's that time of the year - time for my annual NBA draft preview. I wish I could feel confident about this year's edition, but with a 6 week old baby that is literally crying while I type this, it is going to be a little bit more of a challenge. That doesn't mean I don't have an opinion on the Timberwolves (#9 and #26) or the Jazz (#14 and #21) or certain prospects. This will be brief, but I want certain thoughts written down for future years.

Thought 1 - Alex Len is going to be terrible. I really have no idea how anyone can look at his stats or watch game film and consider this person to be anything but a late round selection. He is tall and big, but the big issue is that he isn't very good. I'm not a big Mason Plumlee fan, but I would much rather have Plumlee than Len. My opinion comes from watching more than a few Maryland games and wondering why there was so much hype surrounding Len.  He is so awful that it would be the most Cleveland thing to do to draft him instead of Noel and Porter. (And if I was a Cavs fan I would hope for Porter or Noel and nobody else).

Thought 2 - I want the Jazz to get a point guard. I love Michael Carter-Williams, Trey Burke, C.J. McCollum in that order, but assuming those three are gone I would have zero problem with the Jazz using their first pick on Shane Larkin. I hate to use cliche's like "he just knows how to play" but with Larkin I truly believe that cliche is true with him. I have concerns about his size and that he really only had one good year, but he is worth the risk at 14.

Thought 3 - I'm on the Kentavious Caldwell-Pope bandwagon for the Twolves at #9. I know that advanced stats like him, and you might as well take a shot on a prototypical two guard. I wish I had better analysis, but I never once say him play and am only speculating based on other people's opinion.

Thought 4 - Cody Zeller and Shabazz Muhammad are worth the risk. Zeller seems obvious because he has the numbers and is only knocked down because of one bad NCAA tournament game. Muhammad is more of an educated risk because of the UCLA factor (they generally play better) and because he was a top recruit. If I was an NBA team in a weak draft, I'm ok taking a chance on a former can't miss recruit who might just have had a tough year in college.

Thought 5 - Give me Victor Oladipo and I will feel great about my draft. I loved watching him play in college and fully believe that last year's stats is more indicative than the previous two years. I would certainly draft Oladipo over Mclemore, Len and Bennett. For me I lean more towards Porter, but wouldn't fault a team for taking Oladipo over Porter.

I will see if I can translate more thoughts, but my main goal is for the Jazz to get a decent point guard from the draft.

New Dad

As a new Dad I've been given the advice to write down my thoughts. This is probably the absolute worst forum (public) to do it in because I am exhausted right (I'm surprised I didn't actually write "write" there) now, but here it goes.

Things are pretty fresh right now considering that 27 hours ago my first child entered this world. The range of emotions have been pretty intense. I wanted to try to remember this time in as much clarity as possible. I want to remember the feeling of seeing my daughter being born because it was more amazing and wonderful than my wildest expectations. I thought that I was going to be immune to that "magical moment" and had even planned a blog post about how I was cynical about the miracle of birth. It is somewhat too bad I didn't write that, because I would have been able to look back and seen I was dead wrong.

To give a little context, I came home from work on Wednesday night and was greeted with a pregnant wife telling me "if this isn't labor then I don't know what I am going to do." At 7pm I started tracking the contractions. It is kind of crazy how one gets when something so important is happening and you have pretty much the smallest role possible. For me, I take that one role extremely seriously and make sure that if I am asked to time contractions that I become the best contractions timer this world has ever seen. By the time 8pm rolled around I was able to inform the doctor about the length of time in between contractions, how long they had been going on and the duration of each one. The nurse that I talked to was impressed with my notetaking, which just confirmed in my head about my ability to write down numbers when M told me to.

Anyway, we drove to Riverside at around 8pm and once the nurses checked M out it was clear that this was the night. M gave birth to Lucy at 2:19am and it was the best moment of my life. Going in I was terrified about M being in labor, but it ended up literally bringing tears to my eyes. I am so grateful to have entered this stage of my life. And to know that I have friends and family that have already been so supportive makes the whole situation that much better. There will be many sleepless nights and frustrations ahead, but it will all be worth it.

The Parent I Want To Be

M is now officially one week away from her date. This time period is interesting because it makes any and all activities (such as writing a blog post) transform into "will she go into labor" activities. That provides a strange calm before the storm. The anxiety comes from knowing labor is imminent, but with that knowledge means that we aren't really planning anything. That allows for days like today, which included sleeping till 9am, watching tv, going on a long walk, spending time with friends and watching basketball. I know that will change soon, but until that comes I'm not really sure what else I should be doing.

Anyway, we are excited for this new change in our life and with that I would like to get my thoughts down on the parent I do and do not want to be. The first thing that I want to do as a parent is to get the "big stuff" right. First and foremost that means maintaining a loving relationship with M. Besides just providing a good example of a long-term, committed relationship, it is important baby girl to be a home where people actually like each other. Also, by placing our relationship first it will hopefully instill the characteristic of being selfless and of caring about others. I don't want baby girl to feel like she is the center of the universe and grow up to become a narcissistic, selfish, entitled individual.

However, that being written I want to give baby girl as much love and support as we have seen from other parent friends. She should know that our love for her is unconditional, and that as her parents we will take care of her. It is on us to provide the same childhood as was provided by our parents. This is the deal we made when we got married and decided to have children.

Also, I would like my child to know their family. It might be easier for one side since we live in the same city, but I also want to make sure that she knows my family in Mississippi. That means trips back home, vacations together, etc. Her relationship with her grandparents, uncles, aunts and nephew is important.

I want to have pizza/movie nights with her.

I want to pay every penny for four years of college.

I want to encourage her to read, and in academics I want to cultivate M's work ethic in her.

I want her to be an independent thinker, who is able to make her own decisions based on careful thought.

I want her to grow up in a world that is accepting of others (ex. gay marriage) and does not pass judgement on people just because they are different.

For all of this I will try to provide as best of an example as possible. Who knows what life will bring with her or how we will actually parent? It is hard to predict something that is so new for us. And I know how big of a factor luck is in all of this. I will do my best.

Life Before Baby Girl

This past weekend I was in my former home of Minneapolis and it gave me plenty of time to celebrate, reflect and self-analyze. One of the big topics of conversation (besides the obvious fact that Brian and Leah were getting married) was the upcoming birth of our first child. The good news was that despite our nerves, M didn't give birth early and I am now back home ready at a moment's notice to drive to Riverside Hospital.

Now as we look forward, I felt like it was time to update the old blog with a few words on life before Baby Girl. (This was actually my friend Shelley's advice.) First off - it has been made crystal clear to me how my life will change with our family growing by 50%. It was a common theme from recent parents that kind of went like "Having a kid is the most awful thing in the world. You won't sleep. You will fight. Your life is no longer about yourself. You will lose friends. Did I mention you won't sleep? Oh yeah, but it's great." I take that from a group of people, so please no one take offense to this somewhat accurate description of the advice on getting prepared to have a child.

Anyway, my current life consists of a lot of fun activities surrounded by a stressful, but rewarding job. Unlike in years past, I do love my job and find that often my conversation comes back to that subject. For example, I just finished a text conversation with a coworker about work, personalities, meetings, etc. It seems strange to me that people that often really don't like work (and there are plenty of people out there) seem to talk about it often. While I do have my complaints, I feel like an impostor in that I do like what I am doing on a daily basis. And if you think I am just am saying this in a public forum, then grab me after a few drinks and ask me the same question and see if you get a different answer.

Other aspects of my life include plenty of traveling for both fun and work. This year I've been to  Chicago (hockey game and visiting friends), New York (work), Miami (work), San Antonio (birthday/babymoon), Indianapolis (basketball), Montreal (Bachelor Party) and then most recently Minneapolis. I've been on a plane for three consecutive weeks, which is somewhat of an issue since I'm still not completely over the debacle of the US Airways flight form Miami that I wrote about here. Still I love traveling, and can't picture my life without it.

Also, another thing I enjoy is going out with friends in Columbus. It isn't an unfamiliar sight to see me at the bars in the Short North with the same group of people. My perfect weekend would be a wonderful date night with M (maybe Cafe Istanbul and a movie) on Friday and then out drinking with friends on Saturday. I know that a lot of this will change with the new addition to our family, but I think it is important to at least try and keep a balanced life.

On the smaller scale I love sleeping in (9:30am sounds good to me), reading the Sunday NY Times and taking naps on the weekend. I know this will sound fanciful in a month. Also, I've been on a walking kick lately as I got a fitbit and have been tracking my "steps" for over a month now. I've been walking about 11k steps a day, which is just over my goal number of 10k. I'm not sure how long this will last, but as it currently stands I enjoy this change in my life. I feel more active, more apart of my community and as a side benefit I'm closer to my playing weight. It does cut into my tv watching time, but when I am lazy and need to relax, I do like watching The Daily Show, Game of Thrones and Downton Abbey.

Also, when I am lazy I enjoy reading magazines like Kiplinger's, Money and Time, which means I am officially a middle-age man who likes conversations about personal finance and world events. Also, I've been on a kick with David Halberstam books and am currently reading one on the 1950s appropriately called The Fifties. There isn't much better than sitting in my backyard on a sunny day with a cocktail and something to read.

My life is generally one of leisure and fun. I do have some complaints about people being passive-aggressive or ungrateful, but I can already look back on those concerns and think that they probably aren't too important. Thankfully the big stuff (my wife, our house, our finances) are in order and instead of worrying about the next paycheck, I can be concerned about things of a smaller scale. In looking over Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs we are pretty much at the top, which isn't a terrible place to be.

Hopefully with the lack of sleep in front of me, I can come back eventually and update this blog to see truly how much life has changed. Maybe it will be as bad as everyone says? I think my expectations are properly lowered, but still I am excited about welcoming Baby Girl Malphurs into this world.

The Incompetence of US Airways

Air travel has always been a big part of my life. I've flown across both the Pacific and the Atlantic. I've flown commercial and private. I've flown in coach and first class. Lately it seems like a month doesn't go by without at least one flight. I'm not a novice when it comes flying, and that is why I can write with some confidence that last week's flight on US Airways was the most terrifying flight of my life.

Last Thursday, I was to fly from Miami (on store visits) to Charlotte and then back to Columbus. We were to arrive back in to Columbus, go to work on Friday and then M and I were flying from Columbus to San Antonio for our babymoon. That was the first of what ended up being three plans.

On the first flight from Miami to Charlotte there was some turbulence in the air, which was concerning, but nothing that hasn't happened before on countless other flights. It went from concerning to terrifying when the pilot came on the loudspeaker and in a worried/frantic voice said "Everyone sit down. Flight attendants prepare the oxygen masks. We need to make an emergency landing in Orlando." My coworker sitting next to me immediately turned pale and started sobbing. From then on we listened to every little sound on the plane as if we could control what was going on if things went poorly. When the plane made a loud rattling sound that after about 5 minutes just abruptly stopped into dead silence, it was hard not to think that at least one the engines went out. It felt like we were gliding like a paper airplane.

Now looking back it is is hard to know what ended up happening. It is unlikely that something like the engine going out actually happened, but at the time the only thing that could go through my head was the pilot's scared voice about the oxygen masks. Of course we landed ok (thus this blog post) and ended up getting a hotel in Orlando. It wasn't a very pleasant experience, and one that I blame completely on the incompetence of US Airways. I would suggest that you do whatever it takes to fly someone other than them. Am I being too harsh? In addition to the above consider;

• The line to get a hotel was about 3 hours long, so we ended up booking our own hotel in Orlando with our own money. US Airways was supposed to pay for the hotel (like most airlines), but we haven't seen a dime towards those costs.
• I was going to fly from Orlando through Charlotte to San Antonio to meet up with M on our babymoon. My thought was that it made no sense to fly all the way back to Columbus on Friday to get back on a plane to fly to San Antonio. The first flight I had in the morning from Orlando to Charlotte ended up also having problems. Instead of flying into Charlotte, the plane had to land back in Orlando. 
• When I got off my 2nd diverted flight, I talked to US Airways rebooking agent (now on speed dial) and was informed that 1) I would have to fly back to Columbus and not San Antonio and 2) when I asked about compensation, I was told I could send an email.
• The result was 4 consecutive meals at the airport and 22 out of 30 hours spent on a plane or in the airport. I had 45 minutes at home to change my bag, take a shower and get ready to go back to the airport for my next couple flights.

So the end result is that no I don't think I am being too harsh.