Why I am voting for Joe Biden

On Friday, October 9th I waited in an hour long line at the early voting place here in Columbus, Ohio. It was a pretty day outside and I was able to listen to the new Jeff Pearlman book about the Shaq / Kobe Lakers. Overall it felt good to do my civic duty, but also I felt a sense of dread about this upcoming election. One candidate is so extreme that almost everyone agrees that there is a decent chance that one candidate won't accept the election results or won't participate in a peaceful transfer of power. There is one candidate who so clearly has and will prioritize his own needs over the needs of the democratic system of our country. There should be little doubt for any rational person that one candidate would lie, cheat, steal and do whatever it takes to win. On Friday, October 9th on a nice day in Columbus, Ohio I voted for the other candidate. I voted for Joe Biden

And yes to start my vote was more of a vote against our current President than a vote for Biden. Some might level the criticism against me that I am more voting against someone than for someone else. I kind of get it and it was also mostly true in 2016. Still I feel like voting this particular person is a rational response and I will try to back up my thoughts on that.

Trump is bad. He is bad when you consider his personality, his policies, his words and his actions. He is a bad role model for our children. He was bad in the past, bad in the present and the odds are high he will be bad in the future. Bad is such a simple word, but in this case you don't really need anything complex in describing him. Here is how I reached that conclusion with a partial but certainly not full list of things I abhor about Trump:

Personality - Certainly some (a lot?) of Republicans like his combative personality and that he "isn't a politician" but from the Republicans I know they concede that personally he is a narcissistic bully who is a bad role model. (In my mind that should be enough for most people to not vote for him.) The way he talks and tweets about a wide range of people shouldn't be tolerated. There are almost too many examples to count, but really just turn on one of his rallies and if you aren't offended then I am not sure we are watching the same thing. (A month ago on September 18th he asked his 99% white audience if they were "having a good time with your refugees." He pushed a conspiracy theory about Congresswoman Omar marrying her brother. He said it was "the most beautiful thing" about a journalist being hit by a rubber bullet.) Seriously - any one viewing of any random rally should be enough to make you run to the polls to vote for Biden. 

Those examples aren't policies he is pursuing. His speeches / tweets seem to fluctuate between culture war issues (ex. football players kneeling), attacking a diverse group of female Democrats called "the Squad" (not about policies, but about them hating America or listening in while his audience chants "send them back") and grievances against the media, his political opponents or whoever was the latest antagonist on Fox News.

And the strange thing to me is that his attacks in the last paragraph truly seem to be a big part of what drives Republican voters. I had recently spent a weekend with a Trump supporter. During that weekend we didn't talk about climate change, gun violence or even really COVID. We did talk about NFL players kneeling and how this lifelong football fan was going to be personally boycotting the NFL this year. Now let's say this was something I disagree with (it's not) then still I can't imagine kneeling NFL players would make my top 100 issues in this election. 

Policies - Some of those same Republicans excuse his personality because they like his policies. Normally that means lower taxes, less regulation, conservative judges and anti-immigration. I will take those one by one:

Taxes - the big legislative achievement for Trump and the Republicans was the tax cut they passed in 2017. It is not controversial to say this tax cut primarily benefited rich people and that it 100% hurt the federal deficit. (Remember when Republicans cared about the federal deficit. It was amazing to me that with unemployment going down and the economy in a decent position, we saw such an increase in the federal deficit under Trump. The federal deficit has gone up every year under Trump after seeing year over year declines under Obama. Not that anyone cares about the federal deficit, but there are some amazing charts showing how it gradually declines under Democrats like Clinton / Obama and increases under Republicans like Reagan / W / Trump.) 

Personally I liked that the tax cut doubled the standard deduction, which makes filing my taxes easier since I no longer need to keep up with charitable giving. I didn't like how the IRS asked for companies to deduct less from our paychecks, which meant that my tax bill at the end of the year was higher than expected. (Overall my taxes did go down thanks to the tax cut. I looked at my last 7 tax returns and it is clear that after the 2017 tax cut the %s went down. When Republicans make the point that Biden will raise your taxes then it is a fair point for me.) Anyway, I believe that it is patriotic to pay taxes in order to support schools, social services and general public welfare. I wouldn't do what Trump (or others) did and try to figure out all the loopholes to get as low a tax bill as possible. I didn't decline or donate the money I saved in taxes thanks to Trump, but I would rather taxes go up for me (and others - specifically people much richer than me) and for those taxes to help make this country truly great / fair. 

Less Regulation - I don't always knows what specific regulations people want to get rid of when they say this, but taking it at face value I think it is fair to say most conservatives want to lower regulation. I am not sure if that means less environmental regulation, but that seems to be a constant theme from the research I've done. For me I would prefer more not less environmental regulation and it's not really that close. (I am by no means an expert on what that means, but protecting the environment seems like a worthy goal and I don't really trust Trump to do that.) Another regulation that seems like it would help the common American was the "fiduciary rule," which regulates that financial planners work in your best interest. Trump got rid of that. It seems like something so basic that any argument against it seems like a stretch. I wonder if there are conservatives who are "anti-regulation" who probably would benefit from more regulations on the companies that pollute the environment and financial advisors who sell shady products that make them money at the expense of their clients. 

Conservative judges - this will play a little bit into the next bullet point, but I am completely against conservative judges limiting our democracy by excusing gerrymandering and striking down the Voting Rights Act. Normally I think the "originalist" intent is just bs that allows judges to make whatever argument they want. Also, I was alive in 2016 when Republicans were very clear about allowing the US public to have a choice in filling the Supreme Court seat. They didn't give a moderate / relatively old judge (Merrick Garland) a hearing after Antonin Scalia died 9 months before an election. They were clear about their reasons. Now in 2020, they were completely ok confirming a much younger / much more conservative judge after Ruth Bader Ginsburg died less than 2 months before an election. It is worse than hypocrisy. It is pretending that people don't remember what happened 4 years ago. I would still be upset, but not as angry if they just said they had the power and that is how they were going to use it how they see fit. However, they try to come up with elaborate reasons on why this is ok, when they have to know that they have damaged if not destroyed the Supreme Court. (Since 1968 Democrats have won the popular vote in 7 out of 13 presidential elections, but have appointed just 4 out of 19 Supreme Court Justices. It is not fair. It's not fair especially when considering the Supreme Court helped W win, which then led to Supreme Court decisions that led to Trump winning that led to decisions that might allow him to win again. It's a cycle that reinforces itself)

Democracy - The biggest issue for me is Democracy in general. It is amazing to me that people will justify certain votes being worth more than others or that voting in general should be tough. Personally one of my strongest political beliefs is that voting should be easy and fair. Currently there is a ton of evidence that Republicans don't believe that. You can see it in their words about "real Americans" or in their actions. My home state of Mississippi doesn't allow for early voting, which is a pretty clear sign of voting suppression. What happens if on election day your car breaks down or you are sick or the voting line is too long and you need to get to your job - well you are disenfranchised in Mississippi. And people not only are ok with that, but are actively working to make sure that remains the system. Thankfully we do have early voting in Ohio, but that doesn't mean my vote for Congress matters. Ohio is an extremely gerrymandered state, so that a roughly 50/50 state goes 12/4 for Congress thanks to the wonderful work the GOP did in 2010. Gerrymandering makes votes not count. That is wrong. Another thing that makes votes not count is the electoral college. For some reason getting rid of the electoral college is now considered an extreme position....but I am really not sure why my vote should count more if I live in Ohio than if I live in Mississippi. I don't know why we would set up a system where 500 votes in Florida are more valuable than 500,000 votes in the rest of the country. Or where 70,000 votes in the Midwest would count more than 3,000,000 votes anywhere else. The electoral college is at best quirky and at worst undemocratic. 

Doubt - 

I have a lot of doubt about what is in Trump's tax returns (his audacity to say they are still under audit is amazing). 

I have a lot of doubt that he truly cares about the country and almost zero doubt that he cares about himself more than the country. 

I have a lot of doubt that he wouldn't work with foreign governments in hurting an opponent or helping himself. 

I have doubt that he hires the "best people" when so many people that worked for him end up in jail. I have doubt of his competency as a leader when the people that don't end up in jail write books and go on TV talking about how he is a narcissistic madman who is bad for the country. 

I have doubt that he is a smart person. 

I have doubts (thanks to the Bob Woodward tapes) that when it came to COVID he really wanted to do what is best for the country and that by "intentionally downplaying" the virus he didn't lead to more people dying in America than if we had picked another more truthful path. 

I have doubts that he is truly the "religion freedom" candidate when one of the first things he tried to do was ban an entire religion.

I have doubts on his record on the environment, when he doesn't seem to truly address the issues with Climate Change and stories have shown that "less regulation" often means more pollution. 

I have doubts that Mexico is paying for the wall. 

I have doubts that he has a healthcare plan.  I have zero doubt that he is being absurd when he says Republicans will protect people with pre-exisiting conditions when that only happened in this country because of President Obama's administration. 

I have doubts that Trump fired the FBI Director (Comey) for the right reasons....just like I have doubts about Trump firing the inspector generals. 

I have a lot of doubts about the ethical moves of Trump's personal decisions. 

I have doubts on most of the conspiracy theories Trump throws out there and I don't know if he thinks they are true or if he knows they are false but thinks they might help him out. 

I have doubts that he is the "least racist person" with a history that includes the Central Park 5, birtherism and refusing to rent to Black tenants in the 1970s. I have doubts that it speaks highly of him that the best argument against him being racist is that he is just a jerk to everyone.

I have doubts that he is the best candidate against "cancel culture" when he routinely is asking people to boycott things and has talked numerous times of canceling people, companies, etc. 

I have doubts that that the rest of the world thinks more positively about America with him as our leader. 

I have serious doubts about reducing immigration or reducing the number of foreign students (either directly or indirectly by making America less appealing) in our colleges won't have serious consequences to our economy and world standing

I have doubts on Trump sticking up to China and doubts that his tariffs have helped our country. 

I have doubts on his critique of socialism when his subsidies to farmers seems to be (by most conservative's definition) to be socialism. 

I have doubts that if he wins we still will be a democracy and won't fall into some authoritarian country where voting no longer matters and is strictly ceremonial. 

I have doubts that I would be able to look my children in the eye if I voted for such a terrible person who I believe puts himself over our country.

Final- Do I have doubts about Biden? Yes - that section would be a lot shorter and also more picky. Overall he seems like a good person who is moderate left and will hopefully bring the temperature of this country down a little bit. I don't want to care about politics as much and I think a Biden presidency would be a lot less of pretty much everything. I don't want to be shocked by what my President writes on Twitter or says on TV. I would like to elect a relatively normal person that can help our country get back to a more normal time. Trump unfortunately has brought out the worst in a lot of people and has made me question things about this country that I previously took for granted. Biden is at worst a generic politician, who will give boring speeches and not make much of a change. Unfortunately that is a huge improvement over our current situation. I have gone from "hope and change" to just hoping my (and others) vote counts and that we will continue to live in a democracy. It's quite the shift, but the best thing about a low point is that hopefully there is no where to go up but up. 

Layoffs

For 9 years I worked for L Brands and just writing that sentence in past tense is strange for me. I didn't think I would work there forever (common wisdom was that nobody retires from L Brands), but still after that amount of time it is still strange for it to be over. I had worked worked in Pink MP&A, Store Operations and for the last 4 years in Finance. I was promoted twice (with the last promotion happening one year ago) and during my time I had seven different managers. The job gave me the opportunity to travel from from the Pacific to the Atlantic Ocean and see about 200 malls in between. I was there long enough to see our paternity leave policy change from nothing (for the birth of my first child) to two weeks (for the birth of my second child) to six weeks (which I didn't take advantage of). I was there for the rise and eventual (but certainly not complete) fall of Pink. I was there in 2015 when LB's stock reached an all-time high of $100, and I was there when during the middle of COVID it dropped all the way down to $8. 

Unfortunately I am using past tense becausse I was part of the layoffs that impacted 850 of my coworkers. I knew there was a chance get let go during this round, but obviously I hoped for the best. I had been lucky to survive the great recession and then the layoffs at L Brands in 2016. I have worked for 3 large corporations for 15 years and it was my time for bad luck.

The layoffs happened obviously during the middle of a pandemic, so it had to be through Microsoft Teams. And it just so happened that it was when I was on vacation in Florida, which made it stranger. It all started with an email the night before announcing that 1) layoffs were happening tomorrow 2) people would get "transition meetings" on their calendar, which could mean anything from being let go to getting a new job or a new boss. I didn't sleep well that night - especially since I got a "transition meeting" for 11am. I thought (correctly it turns out) that an early morning meeting was bad because normally companies do layoffs first in the day. We also had an 8:30am meeting, where our department leader explained that yes layoffs were happening. (Thanks for compounding my lack of sleep with an early morning meeting that reinforced the thing we already knew.) So I listened in on the 8:30am call and then just waited. My family went to the beach. I waited. The "good" news is that at 11am I knew immediately that I was let go because the two people on the call (my HR partner and my boss's boss) both look very sad. I tried keeping my composure and asked the questions that I had just googled (it's not a good sign to be googling "what to ask if you are let go"). And then I went to the beach and tried to enjoy my time with my family and forget what just happened.

I wish I could say I handled it all well, but I had many sleepless nights rehearsing questions that would likely never be fully answered. Also, I had a brief panic attack after thinking about the challenges of finding a job during this job market. I'm not one of the people who believes "everything happens for a reason" and I was really struggling with the "why me" part of the layoffs. I had been doing a good job (again I was just promoted last year) and i worked in a critical area for the company. But eventually I picked myself up and started reaching out to contacts. It's not that I was sad about losing my job, but I still needed to try and find a new job.

Thankfully things seem to be working out on the job search standpoint. I recently accepted a Senior Manager of Testing role with DSW. I am thrilled for the role and the opportunity to build out my own team. It will be a new company with a new group of coworkers, but thankfully the role itself is familiar. I wish I had some big way of ending this, but I don't. There is no grand lesson, but a lot of smaller lessons I've learned through this whole thing. Those lessons will have to wait for another blog post.

Coronavirus update

It's really strange because both a lot of things seem to be happening and nothing seems to happen at the exact same time. Since the last update two months from now the big family update was that we decided to send L & J to camp. It was a different camp than normal with rules to prevent the spread of COVID and for a long time things worked out great! We would drop them off at 8am and pick them up at 5pm. They enjoyed camp and we enjoyed being able to do work during the day.

And then their camp counselor tested positive for COVID and camp ended. Here is the timeline:

• Thursday, July 2nd - the last day L & J were in camp with the counselor who ended up testing positive
• Friday, July 3rd - because it was the day before the 4th of July we took them out of camp in the morning before they went back that afternoon to participate in the "water games." We then got a call and an email saying that their counselor "has been in the same facility as someone who tested positive for COVID-19."
• Sunday, July 5th - we got the following email:  "We wanted to make you are aware of the counselor in the program who got tested for Covid-19 on Friday’s results, unfortunately the results came back as positive." That email ended camp for L & J. They would need to be quarantined for 2 weeks and then we were going to pull them out the last week as an extra precaution before our trip to Florida with my parents and sister's family.
• Wednesday, July 8th - we take the girls to a parking lot at Nationwide to get tested for Coronavirus. After waiting in a car line for about 45 minutes we got L tested....it was supposed to be both girls, but for some reason the hospital didn't have the test request for both L & J, so we could only get L tested. This was not a fun experience for L. They put a swab in her nose and scraped around for 10 seconds. Everyone was rewarded with ice cream after.
• Friday, July 10th - we got the call saying Lucy's results were negative! This was great news even though the two caveats were that there is a good chance the the test could be a false negative (and she actually is positive) and it didn't matter in terms of going back to camp. We were told that both girls still needed to stay away from camp for the full 2 weeks of Quarantine. Nothing like paying for a full 7 weeks of camp, while only getting 4 weeks. We've had a lot of experience in paying for things (CMEC and camp) that we don't end up using

Anyway, we are now doing the work / kids at home balancing act like before. The good news is that after we make it the next two weeks, we will have some time off in Florida.

This whole thing has been so weird. On one hand it was great that we were able to get L tested (and that her results were negative) and that the results came back in only two days (I've heard its a lot more in other areas). The bad news is that camp was still canceled and the potential for a false negative is still scary. People could get a negative result and then go around infecting other people. This virus and entire situation is just so strange to be dealing with and I just hope that it ends soon.

Cold Turkey

It's just different. I was listening to a podcast the other day between Bill Simmons and Chuck Klosterman (two writers I enjoy reading) and Klosterman was making the point that this is the first national story that has ever directly impacted his day to day life. The three big national events since I turned 18 were:

1. 9/11
2. Hurricane Katrina
3. 2007/ 2008 Financial Crisis

I am not including elections in the above list, but you could include the 2008 and 2016 elections if you wanted to expand this to 5. Regardless those 5 events changed how I thought about certain things / people and certainly had a major impact on our country....but my day to day life was essentially unchanged. Now I understand that by writing that I am highlighting my good luck and privilege, but it is also the truth. Nothing really compares to this current moment. It's just different.

There are so many differences that it's hard to even know where to start. I keep going back to the feeling like this is just one big "cold turkey" experiment. What would happen if we gave up dining out, traveling, sports, school, working in the office, etc? If you had asked me to give up any one of those things for Lent, I would have immediately balked at the suggestion. And now we are giving all of those things up all at once? It's been quite the life change (my daughter is brushing her American Girl doll one foot away from me as I write this) that brings up more questions than answer. Here are the top 5 questions:

1. When will this end?
2. What will post-corona-virus world look like? 
3. How many people will die? 
4. Will there be an analysis on what we as a country did well and what we could improve upon next time?
5. What are the big things that I am not even thinking about? 

I don't really have a good answer to any of those questions. There is an ongoing debate between continuing to practice social distancing versus reopening the economy. People engaging in this debate seem to be very confident about their argument. I am much less confident. I am extremely worried about both the health aspects of the virus (and thus the need for proper social distancing) and also the economic and mental health issues that come from social distancing. I don't know the right answer for and just hope that leaders (ex. Governors, CEOs, etc) are getting accurate information and are making decisions that appropriately measures risk. (I purposely didn't include our current President, because he seems completely ill equipped to deal with this crisis. Every single day he does or says something that boggles my mind.)

In terms of our family, M and I have gotten into a routine and we have no plans to change that in the near future. I go on a long walk every day while listening to either book or a podcast. We generally watch a movie at night. We try to get the kids to go on a bike ride or a walk. During the week we both work while also trying to entertain / teach L and J. This is tricky. We have 3 meals a day from home...breakfast is normally cereal, lunch is either leftovers or sandwiches and then we try out a meal for dinner. I feel like our cooking has been pretty good and I am pleased with how that is going. As a treat during the weekend we order out (pizza, sushi and tacos). We have seen a few people from 6 feet apart, but really our interactions with people are much, much lower than in the pre-quarantine world. We are acting like we have the virus and basically are just staying at home.

Now how will I think about this in 10 years? That was another interesting perspective in the Simmons / Klosterman podcast. Klosterman brought up that in 10 years we will be getting all these opinion pieces in 10 years about how the quarantine had many benefits since families got spend a lot of quality time together. In some cases we don't even have to wait 10 years to get some articles like this one from The Atlantic: My Family Needed A Reset, Quarantine Gave Us One. I wonder how I will think about this. Will I look back on this fondly? Will this be a pivot point where so many things change? (Examples that have been brought up: universal basic income, more working from home, medicare for all, change in retail / restaurants) Will this be just a minor blip and we as a country and individually as a family revert back to normal? As of now there are just significantly more questions than answers.

Life during the Coronavirius

Time for another update! Not much has really changed, since my last post. We are still in quarantine, which means work, play, home cooked meals, bike rides, movies, etc. I can't tell if time is going quickly (it's been a full month of this) or slowly (is it only 9am?). In some ways time doesn't really exist besides the fact that Monday - Friday are still work days for the grown ups and school days (well at least partial school days) for the kids.

Anyway, I've been reading a baseball writer from New Albany named Craig Calcaterra a good bit. He is very active with twitter and is doing a daily Pandemic Diaries. I can't come close to keeping up with a daily diary....despite the fact that I am not doing anything away from home, I still feel plenty busy enough with work, playing with my daughters, cooking at home, going on bike rides, movies, etc.  Anyway, I liked the question and answer portion from his post last week and thought I would play along:

When was the last day you went in to work?

Monday, March 16th. The week before was one of the strangest week's of my life and I tried to go with the day to day recap in my last post. L Brands hadn't officially made the call for all of us to work from home, so I was at work on that Monday. I had an idea it might be my last day at the office, and sure enough when I left work that day I took my monitor and my docking station, so that I could set up a proper home office.

When did your state or city order everyone to stay at home?

March 23rd - but by that time nothing really changed for us....we were already home quarantined

Has there been a particular change to your lifestyle that has been difficult to make or accept? 

So the options would be travel, sports, dining out, working from home and hanging out with friends. I feel like the decision comes down to the final two. I miss traveling with our family (and canceling our Spring Break trip wasn't fun), but this just feels like one of those times where we in between trips. Dining out is also something I miss, but I enjoy cooking and sometimes with young kids it is just easier to have meals at home. Sports is obviously a huge part of my life, but I can watch old Duke games and read plenty of articles on the NFL draft and retrospectives on favorite players, games, etc. So it comes down working from home and hanging out with friends. All things considered working from home has been the most difficult to accept. I generally like my job / coworkers and miss the normal work life. Also, it is tough to do my job, support M with her job and have both of us try and teach / play with the kids. 

What do you miss the most?

I definitely miss hanging out with friends. Bexley is a close community and it is really tough not having dinners and time with our friends in the neighborhood. It is hard for the kids to tell them to be socially distanced from their friends. I would give up travel, sports and dining out before I gave up just normal interactions among friends. 

What is the most unusual thing you have noticed since this crisis began?

I am not sure if this is the most unusual thing, but a random observation is seeing how my kids handle the situation. My 3 year old will sometimes lead the family prayer before dinner and almost always ends it with something like "and I hope the coronavirus doesn't get us." Also, she will talk about how she wants to travel to the beach "on the first day the coronavirus is gone." She doesn't seem to be negatively impacted by this quarantine, but she definitely has an understanding that something unusual is happening now. I find it fascinating how she is processing this situation. 

Do you know anyone who has COVID-19?

Yes - someone I went to high school (and the brother of a friend) as well as someone on my K Academy team. When I found out about those two people having it, it really hit home more than just reading about the virus. 

Do you know anyone who had died from complications related to COVID-19?

No

How long do you think it will be before the stay-at-home order is lifted in your community?

No idea - I would be thrilled if life was back to normal by Memorial Day.

Will you immediately return to your normal routine after the stay-at-home order is lifted? Or will you wait before returning to normal? If you’ll wait, how much longer will you do so?

I can't imagine any of this will be like a light switch, where it goes from abnormal (or the "new normal" as so many people keep saying) to normal. I feel like it will be gradual. 

What’s the first thing you want to do when the stay-at-home order is lifted?

I am going to cheat and say 3 things: 1) go on a date with M and without the kids 2) plan a new trip using some of the credits we got from Delta 3) go play basketball with friends - I had been on a pretty good routine playing basketball 1-2 a week and would love to get back to that.

Have you been ordering food out from local restaurants (carry-out or delivery)?

No. We have thought about it, but haven't ordered any food out in a month. Normally we have enough food from our large grocery store trips. 

How often have you been going to the grocery store?

Once a week. We generally buy a lot, but still feel like we need replenishments after about 7 days.

Will you wear a mask when you go out?

Yes - I didn't the last time, but would like to try and be cautions

Do you think other people have been taking this crisis seriously?
Yes - there seems to be some people who have downplayed the virus initially, but most people seem to be taking it seriously. Of course I talk to a lot less people that before so who knows if my sample size is large enough.

Do you think people have been over-reacting to this situation?
I'm not sure, but I don't think so. When so many different people and organizations come to the same conclusion it seems like either one big example of group think or everyone is reacting appropriately.

How many people do you think will eventually die from COVID-19?
I don't really want to guess that. 

Do you think schools will re-open yet this year?

I just found out that they wouldn't....but we kind of have been anticipating schools would be closed for the year. 

Do you think that summer sports like baseball will occur?
Yes - in some capacity. There will likely be games with no fans first.

What is one thing you have done since this crisis started that you don’t usually do?
Good question....I still do a lot of the same things I used to do (cooking, walks, playing with the kids, etc) but now I just do more of it. Essentially any home activity has increased.

Is there anything that has changed in your life since this crisis began that you hope to keep after the crisis ends?

Our personal budget is pretty amazing from a spending perspective, and I would love to keep that going in the future. I am hoping that this slows life down a little bit and that we can find a happy medium between our old life (trips + dining out) and our new life (saving more money, but with less experiences). It's going to be tough to balance because experiences are really fun (and presumably could be good for the children), but I do like the idea (at least in theory) of running a tighter budget.

Coronavirius - day whatever

I've never really been one to sit still. As a child I loved and would go to every camp my parents would send me to. I think one year I went to 5 basketball camps (Millsaps, Mississippi College, St. Andrews, Jackson Academy and NC State if memory serves me correctly). It wasn't that I didn't enjoy home....I enjoyed my parents, my older sister, watching TV, video games, etc. It's just I never really sat still much.

The first big decision I ever made for myself was where I would go to college. I applied to 7 schools with only one of them being in my home state and only a couple within a short drive. My top two choices were both 12 hours away and I finally settled on a mid-sized school in the middle of a cornfield.

Miami University was a wonderful school to attend - one with amazing teachers, a perfect campus and a lot of truly great friends. To give you an understanding of my love for Miami, I've done some college recruiting for them after I graduated. One key trait I always make sure to talk about to high school students is the study abroad program at Miami. I was fortunate enough to travel to China, South Korea, Japan and Hawaii during a summer abroad program that is and will always be one of my most favorite things I have ever done.

Not that I had many choices out of college, but I ended up accepting a job even farther away from my home state and going to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Much like the transition to college, I didn't know a single person when I moved up to Minnesota. Now I am forever thankful for that decision because without going up to Minnesota I wouldn't have met my wife.

M and I have loved traveling and are lucky enough to have gone both to place far away (Spain, England, France, etc) and close by (my friends make fun of my love of going to random Midwest cities to check out the BBQ and minor league baseball). This spring break was going to be our next great adventure - we had booked flights / hotels / train tickets to visit Paris and Switzerland partly to visit a college friend (one from the study abroad program mentioned in the 3rd paragraph) who lives abroad permanently.

Spring break was canceled this year because of the Coronavirus pandemic that has been spreading across the United States. It wasn't the only thing canceled....here is a quick timeline of a very strange week:

Friday, March 6th - M and I got a babysitter so we could go out to eat and go see a comedian (Iliza) we really like. It was a fun night.

Saturday, March 7th - we took the kids to LegoLand at Easton - overall we found it to be a little disappointing

Sunday, March 8th - we organized a playdate with Julie's best friend.

Monday, March 9th - we canceled our trip to Europe. That was a running conversation topic the previous 3 days, and we finally made the call that we didn't want to be stuck in Europe if the Coronavirus got worse. M and I talked about possibly booking another Spring Break trip to Utah or Tampa or some place within driving distance. We thankfully didn't book anything

Tuesday, March 10th - nothing big happened - just a normal day at work

Wednesday, March 11th - I went to my weekly basketball game and during that game the following 3 things happened: 1) Trump canceled flights to Europe, which made our decision on Monday irrelevant 2) Rudy Gobert (one my favorite basketball players) tested positive for the Coronavirus right before the Jazz / Thunder game was about to start 3) The Nba season was canceled. All of this happened during the 2 hour time period.

Thursday, March 12th - The NCAA tournament was canceled. It is amazing to me that this went from something I would have never even considered to something that barely surprised me. Also, Governor DeWine canceled school for 3 weeks. At this point we have all realized how serious this has become.

So in a week we went from going to a crowded comedy show to everything being canceled  / postponed. Since that time we have used brand new phrases like "social distancing." M and I have done a pretty good job of limiting exposure to everyone and an adequate job of managing working from home (we are both are still employed) while taking care of two kids. I know it is overused, but it has just been crazy. Restaurants have been forced to close dine in options and currently only have takeout available. Every day we get a new state and federal update on what is being closed and how the coronavirius is impacting our daily life. Through this all I have been asked to do something that isn't familiar to me - to sit still.

So here I am sitting. Not moving. Not planning a trip or a ballgame (all sports are canceled) to see. Not even planning a date night for M because we don't feel comfortable having a babysitter watch the kids....and even if we did there is no place to go. I would like to say that this sitting still has made me into an uber productive person, but the three pictures I got for my birthday are still not hung and my Dad's taxes are still not completed. I have learned to be a little bit less frenetic. There is no where to go, so I can sleep in and go on long bike rides with my two children. I can spend time with my family without much outside pressure (you know minus the work that I need to do during te week). I can watch movies - pretty much every night we have family movie night with Tarzan, Frozen, The Parent Trap, etc. I can try out new recipes - I made chicken fried rice and I might be wondering why this wasn't a staple during my college years.

Things aren't perfect - I still can get distracted with the news (yesterday Dr. Fauci predicted between 100,000 and 200,000 people will die in the United States). I also can be short with M or my children.  I have periodically just shut down and gone to bed for a few hours just to try and recharge. I am not making as much progress with work as I wish I could. 

Still I move on. Still we go through this. There is no real end to this post besides just writing my thoughts down on a time in my life where I am just sitting still.

7 Up

Inspired by the Tommy Tomlinson post (which was inspired by a "famous British documentary series called the Up series, where director Michael Apted started following a group of 7-year-olds and has returned to them every seven years to see how their lives have changed") I decided to do my own 7 Up review:

7 Up (1990)

After a few years at Beth Israel pre-school in Jackson, MS, I started my first grade year at a new school. I didn’t know it at the time but I will spend the next 12 years (grades 1 through 12) at St. Andrew’s Episcopal school. I didn’t know that at this place I would meet my best friend, play basketball and even be employed at for many summers. Besides school I have a nice, stable family life with my two parents and my older sister. I thought (still think) my sister knows everything. It’s kind of nice when things don’t change much over time. Other than that I don’t really remember too much in terms of issues or notes. I live in a nice home (the same home my parents still own) and have a great life.

14 Up (1997)

I’ve caught the sports bug, which is pretty common growing up in Mississippi, but people keep telling me that my obsession is even more pronounced. Mississippi has zero professional teams and the state’s college programs only have modest success, so that means I went around picking my favorite teams based on seemingly random things. In the NBA I loved the Utah Jazz after getting a John Stockton card and then later seeing him on TV. I thought (still think) he was such a smart, amazing player and I wanted to play basketball just like him. In the NFL I picked the Miami Dolphins because their QB (Dan Marino) seemed to be the perfect player. While other teams were running the ball, the Dolphins seemed to pass the ball on every single play. For college basketball I loved Duke for winning back to back titles in 1991 and 1992. This was an especially good year in college football as my favorite team the Nebraska Cornhuskers won the National Title after beating Peyton Manning’s Tennessee team. The one sport missing was baseball, but I had fallen out of love with the sport after the 1994 MLB strike and didn’t have a favorite team.

21 Up (2004)

Junior Year at Miami University was one of my favorite years of all time. I loved the school, my classes and I had a solid group of friends + a girlfriend I met my sophomore year. It had been tough my freshmen year moving from the only place I had ever lived (Mississippi) to a medium sized college in the middle of a cornfield in Ohio, but by my Junior Year I was very comfortable and happy with the change. My life consisted of studying, playing Madden, hanging out with friends and going to bars. This year I had my first big trip as I did a study abroad program through the school of business where I went to China, South Korea, Japan and Hawaii. This trip was truly amazing and is hard to describe in the appropriate words. I am grateful that Miami offered the program, my parents paid for it and my girlfriend helped convince me to go. Also, at this time I started following politics a little bit closer. The more I read about the President (George W Bush) and the Iraq War the less I liked. I was convinced the rest of the country felt the same way, and was shocked in 2004 when John Kerry lost. It was strange going from not caring about the 2000 election at all to being so disappointed in the 2004 election.

28 Up (2011)

These 7 years were pretty key in establishing my life. After graduating from college I took a job at Target Corporation and moved farther north to Minneapolis. I will forever be grateful for the 2 years at Target because they gave me my first job and it’s also where I met my spouse. A 2006 date that started when we met at the Mary Tyler Moore statue in downtown Minneapolis eventually led to an engagement (2009) and a wedding (2010). Anyway, this time period is a little easier to look back on because I was active with my blog (68 posts this year!). One thing part of a post that stuck out was this:  “For a variety of reasons, I feel like my life is now focused on what I do not have and what has been given up. M and I do not live close to our family. We do not own a home. We do not have children. We don't even have a dog. We have jobs we like, but I can't say that we have the absolute best career ever. We are newly married 28 year olds, who are focused on improving our finances, job skills, experiences and basically preparing for the next stages in our life.” One big change we made in 2011 was the decision to move from Minneapolis to Columbus. We wanted to buy a home, start a family and we felt like it would be easier to do that closer to M’s family. The next step was interviewing for jobs (both of us at the same company) and then actually getting the job. Thankfully we both were lucky enough to get jobs (one day apart) and we made the big decision to move at the end of 2011.

35 Up (2018)

So all the preparation led to something….no other 7 year time period produced more change than this. After we moved from Minneapolis to Columbus we bought a home (2012), had our first child (2013), had our second child (2016) and had a few internal job moves (including a promotion in 2013). Also, my life now becomes more of a “we” situation. I guess that is natural with a family, but it is interesting to see how this compared to other checkpoints in my life. Overall I like my job – it is challenging (in a good way) with smart coworkers and a great work / life balance. I’ve been at the same company for all 7 years and that comes with more vacation days and a certain level of professional confidence. Overall the biggest thing about this 7 year time period is adjusting to being a Dad. Having L hit me hard – not in a bad way, but just in a way that it completely changed my life in a way that greatly exceeded other changes (graduating high school, moving, new job, etc). There is nothing like being a first time parent and adjusting to the lack of sleep, new schedule and someone completely dependent on you (and M).  One thing I found out was that I loved being a parent. There is a real sense of accomplishment that I get in being a father and I can’t imagine my life any other way.