Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Parent I Want To Be

M is now officially one week away from her date. This time period is interesting because it makes any and all activities (such as writing a blog post) transform into "will she go into labor" activities. That provides a strange calm before the storm. The anxiety comes from knowing labor is imminent, but with that knowledge means that we aren't really planning anything. That allows for days like today, which included sleeping till 9am, watching tv, going on a long walk, spending time with friends and watching basketball. I know that will change soon, but until that comes I'm not really sure what else I should be doing.

Anyway, we are excited for this new change in our life and with that I would like to get my thoughts down on the parent I do and do not want to be. The first thing that I want to do as a parent is to get the "big stuff" right. First and foremost that means maintaining a loving relationship with M. Besides just providing a good example of a long-term, committed relationship, it is important baby girl to be a home where people actually like each other. Also, by placing our relationship first it will hopefully instill the characteristic of being selfless and of caring about others. I don't want baby girl to feel like she is the center of the universe and grow up to become a narcissistic, selfish, entitled individual.

However, that being written I want to give baby girl as much love and support as we have seen from other parent friends. She should know that our love for her is unconditional, and that as her parents we will take care of her. It is on us to provide the same childhood as was provided by our parents. This is the deal we made when we got married and decided to have children.

Also, I would like my child to know their family. It might be easier for one side since we live in the same city, but I also want to make sure that she knows my family in Mississippi. That means trips back home, vacations together, etc. Her relationship with her grandparents, uncles, aunts and nephew is important.

I want to have pizza/movie nights with her.

I want to pay every penny for four years of college.

I want to encourage her to read, and in academics I want to cultivate M's work ethic in her.

I want her to be an independent thinker, who is able to make her own decisions based on careful thought.

I want her to grow up in a world that is accepting of others (ex. gay marriage) and does not pass judgement on people just because they are different.

For all of this I will try to provide as best of an example as possible. Who knows what life will bring with her or how we will actually parent? It is hard to predict something that is so new for us. And I know how big of a factor luck is in all of this. I will do my best.

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