Wednesday, July 8, 2009

An Open Letter to Rachel Nichols

After hearing the news from the St. Paul Pioneer Press that Brett Favre put a deposit down on a condo on 50th and France in Edina, I thought it was time to contact you with this open letter. You see, recently M and I moved into one side of a duplex on 49th and France, which is only one block away from the supposed next home of Brett Favre. It is a wonderful place with 2 bedrooms, a kitchen a living room and a basement. There is a dishwasher, central air, cable, Internet and all your basic accommodations. The reason I am telling you this is because you are welcome to stay with M and I when ESPN sends you to report on the latest news concerning Brett Favre.

Just think of the advantages you will have on other reporters who have to stay in hotels farther away from Favre’s home on 50th and France. You on the other hand will be able to walk past Caribou Coffee and pick up a drink before you descend on Favre’s residence, which again is only one block away. Also, you will have your own bedroom thanks to the guest bedroom at our place, so you don’t have to worry about your privacy.

Also, another advantage is that you will be saving ESPN (and thus Walt Disney) money by not having to pay for a hotel during your stay up here. I see on Google Finance how Disney’s stock has declined 23% over the past year, which means that, like most companies, you might want to look at cost-cutting measures. Just another reason why the idea of staying with us is perfect.

I will give you the advice that Minneapolis is an upgrade over where you have been hanging out the past year. While Hattiesburg is too small and New York City is too big, Minneapolis is just right. M and I will be able to give you advice on the best burger in the city (the Nook), the best fried okra (the gas station on 48th and Nicollet) and the best BBQ (Ted Cook’s). We are pretty good hosts and would love to have you stay with us. Please keep that in mind when you are booking your flight to the Twin Cities.


BC said...

You don't update often enough. This puts your plum status in my blogroll at risk. Please rectify the situation with additional content.

Kevin Malphurs said...

Sorry. I just haven't much to write about lately. I still think I do well averaging about a post a week. And my money back guarantee is still in effect.

BC said...

You think Posnanski gets off the hook by saying he "hasn't had much to write about lately?"
Bill Simmons?
Person up, man.