Monday, May 10, 2010

Wedding Update - Clean Slate

Imagine for a second that you are replaced with someone who is exactly like you in every way except one. He or she is the same height and weight. Same background. Same friends. Same thoughts on politics, religion and whether or not there should be a designated hitter. The only difference is that you have no preconceived ideas about anything related to weddings. Society has not forced any social norms on you and in essence you are a clean slate when it comes to the ceremony celebrating the start of a marriage. This is probably hard to do since I know it is kind of difficult for me to take a step back and try to think of something for the first time. However, I have faith in the intelligence of my readers and will continue along with the post as if you don’t know anything about weddings.

Ok. Now that I’m at that clean slate I am going to pretend that someone explained to me everything that goes into a *modern day wedding in the United States. They are going to explain all the customs, rituals, gifts, etc that go into things. Based on that let’s start going through certain things that go into a wedding:

*Modern day wedding = weddings that I have attended, which is also similar to the one that M and I are currently planning. I don’t mean to presume all weddings in the US are like this.

Engagement ring – Thoughts? So, the guy has to get the girl a piece of jewelry to symbolize their eternal love for one another. So are you telling me that everyone’s love is the same? Everyone likes diamonds. I don’t get it. It is just a colorless, sparkling piece of jewelry. I would think that some girls might like a different piece of stone like a ruby or sapphire. Why is it that everyone seems to gravitate to a diamond ring? It isn’t like when people go to a restaurant that they all get the tuna melt. I thought the US was all about choices. I check out facebook and I can’t help notice the high level individuality with my friends until the moment when they get engaged. It seems like there small variations to the style, but overall everyone settles on a diamond ring as the symbol to tell the world that they are now in the process of planning a wedding. That is just crazy talk to me. Also, it seems kind of unfair that women get a gift celebrating the start of wedding planning, but the guy gets nothing. Does this mean that women are possessions and that the down payment is a ring? I thought that we were moving towards a society where men and women would be treated equally. Wouldn’t that mean the woman would get the man something in this situation? Also, wouldn’t that mean that there would be equal amount of women asking men to marry them as vice versa? I’m already confused and I haven’t even talked about the cost of these symbols of the start of wedding planning. Is it smart for what is usually a young couple to be spending so much money on something that might be better used on education or a down payment on a house?

Wedding ring – Thoughts? Wait, so you expect me to believe that after the bride receives an engagement ring the next thing she will want is another ring. This seems strange. Wouldn’t you want some variety and not something that gets covered up by the engagement ring? Would a wedding necklace make more sense and better compliment a wedding ring? I can get behind the idea that jewelry is romantic and something that would help celebrate a special occasion, but I can’t figure out why someone would want two rings. It does make sense that both woman and men receive something like a wedding ring that helps alert other people that they are married and that any not free agents in the dating scene. One common spot like the ring finger sends a strong statement to the rest of the world and I think that would help eliminate some confusion. Still I think that either the wedding ring or engagement ring should change to provide a little variety.

Wedding dress – Thoughts? Again I don’t understand both the cost and the lack of individuality. Also, why would anyone keep the dress for years and years when there is a 0.0% chance of ever wearing it again? It isn’t like you can even pretend that you will wear it out on the town one night. I don’t want to say more on this subject and offend anyone.

Wedding cost – Thoughts? It seems expensive. It seems like by just mentioning it is a wedding the cost just increases by 50%. I compared it to buying a beer at a ballgame. You know that beer is pretty cheap and that if you were to go to the grocery store it would be about a $1 each bottle. You also know that if you were to go a bar that the same beer would be $3-$4. However, since you are at a ballgame the same beer costs $7. That seems like an excessive markup and that is what I think about a lot of the costs associated with weddings.

Bridesmaids/Groomsmen - Thoughts? The dress/tux thing seems like a "friend tax" tome. I can't think of the bridesmaids or groomsmen getting any value from their expensive outfits. Also, I think one can easily make the argument that their attire doesn't really affect much of anything in regards to the wedding. Instead of just picking normal dresses and suits that the bridesmaids/groomsmen already own it is standard protocol that the bridesmaids will have completely new, matching dresses and the groomsmen will have to rent matching tuxes. And as a friend in the wedding party it isn't like you can even say no to this request. Your only option seems to be having to grin and pay the cost of being a friend to the bride/groom.

Anyway, the wedding planning is in its stretch run.


johnny said...

The wedding necklace said "you have a beautiful shape" to the wedding ring.

Elisabeth said...

You should read "Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique." I read it before my own walk down the aisle, for some balance.