Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Top 10 reasons why you should dislike Tyler Hansbrough

I have been reading a lot of college basketball articles touting the merits of a certain junior post player from the University of No Class. I don’t know why the media has such a love affair with this player, but I am here to provide a counterargument. Here are the top 10 reasons (in no particular order) why you should dislike Tyler Hansbrough:

  1. The constant flopping: Just because a player is awkward doesn’t mean you should call a foul every time. Next time you are watching a UNC game look for Hansbrough to power his way to the basket, flail his arms, shoot an awkward shot, and get the foul call.

  2. Teary eyes: Why does it always seem like Tyler Hansbrough is about to cry?There was the infamous bloody nose game from last year. Also there was the time when he got hit in the face against Duke in 2006: or

  3. Awkwardness: With or without the face mask nobody plays or looks more awkward than Tyler Hansbrough. Basketball is a graceful game when played well and Hansbrough's anything but graceful.
  4. Poor Sportsmanship: Why was Tyler Hansbrough in a game with 20 seconds left and the Tar Heels up 12? You could say that it is Roy Williams’ fault for leaving him in and I might agree with that argument. Then the next question comes up is why did Tyler Hansbrough go up for a shot with 20 seconds left in the game that was already over? Most basketball players would get the rebound and then pass it out, run out the clock, and move on to the next game. Tyler Hansbrough wanted to work on his scoring average.

  5. Psycho T: Should we be rooting for someone whose nickname is Psycho T? I am not saying the nickname isn’t appropriate (it is), but should we be encouraging the youth of America to follow the actions of someone who from all account is psycho.

  6. Whiteness: There is JJ Redick white, Powder white, and then there is Tyler Hansbrough. Maybe SI should have picked another background besides white for their cover with Hansbrough on it:

    I have been to Chapel Hill a few times and know for a fact they do have sun there. You couldn’t tell that from looking at Tyler Hansbrough. Does he have some type of skin condition we don’t know about? Does Psycho T lock himself in a gym during the daylight and practice his awkward jump shot? Also, not to go all Spike Lee on you, but do you think that one of the reasons that Tyler Hansbrough is getting so much attention is because he is white? He is not as good of college player as Chris Lofton from Tennessee or even his own teammate Ty Lawson. I can tell you that as Duke fan I am much more worried about Ty Lawson. The reason why is that he is a better player than Tyler Hansbrough. That brings me to the next point:
  7. Talent level. Something that is never mentioned in the articles that I read about Tyler Hansbrough is that he just isn’t very good. The reason he didn’t go pro wasn’t because he loved the college lifestyle or because he wanted to win a National Title. The reason Tyler Hansbrough didn’t go pro was because at best he was a late 1st round draft pick. If he would have been a top 10 pick like Brandon Wright, he wouldn’t be at UNC. Everyone is fawning over him, but Tyler Hansbrough doesn’t have half the skill of JJ Redick. Just in case you forgot here is JJ against UNC:
    In fact Tyler Hansbrough isn’t much different than Nick Collison, Sheldon Williams, or Josh McRoberts. In fact I would say that Tyler Hansbrough is definitely not as good as everyone just listed except for McRoberts. Check out a mock draft to see where Tyler Hansbrough is projected to go in 2009.
  8. Success: Fill in the blank: In 2 years Tyler Hansbrough’s led teams have accomplished (blank). In case you didn’t know Tyler Hansbrough has never been to the Final Four. In both of the last two tournaments his team lost to teams (George Mason and Georgetown ) with less talent than the Tar Heels.

  9. Lack of Class/Dirty Play: Ask Brandon Costner about Tyler trying to slap him during a UNC loss to NC State:

  10. Poor Public Speaking: During an awards banquet Tyler did the following:
    1. Said: "I just want to thank my teammates (pause) for missing so many shots."
    2. Accidentally called his coach the wrong name.
    3. Egotistically announced that he was coming back for his Junior year
    4. Punctuates the announcement with an awkward salute to the audience.
    5. Finishes his speech by suggesting that UNC fire Assistant Coach Haase.

If you want to check out this 40 second clip:
Lets hope Psycho T never decides to become a comedian or a basketball announcer. He is much better suited for awkward white bench post player.

At least he has cool tribute videos like:

If you don't like that you can check out more of the egomaniac at


Anonymous said...

What a complete idiot. Still trying to say UNC was running up the score? Why were the Duke players still in the game also? So when Duke is beating some team by 40 in November, K should take everyone out? Or does he let them play 38 minutes like JJ so that they could get a cheap career scoring record without accomplishing anything at all?

dan said...

Haha, what a loser. I bet you spent about a month trying to come up with these 10 "reasons" to hate Tyler. Half of them make no sense, and half aren't true. You're really searching here dude. Poor public speaking, that's a reason to hate someone? Success? Yeah I forgot, the reason you don't win games is always because of 1 person. Talent Level? People a lot smarter and knowledgable about Basketball than you have him as the best player in the nation. But he sucks right? Get a life dude, what a joke.

Anonymous said...

If J.J. is so skilled, then why didn't he score a single point in the second half of the game in Chapel Hill his junior year, and go ice cold on Senior night against UNC in Cameron Indoor?

This is the worst put together list I've ever seen and it seems an awful lot like sour grapes from a bandwagon Dookie who's just pissed that his team gets owned by Hansbrough.

Pbrooks said...

Dude, quit player-hating just because the Heels are ranked #1 preseason, and your school (dook, I presume) isn't. Get your facts right...and maybe take in a Carolina game at the Smith Center- if YOU can get tickets.
Jeez, rookie, get a life and quit raggin' on folks who happen to be successful.
So what if Tyler appears to be awkward or whatever. Do you have the guts to take him one-on-one in hoops? Didn't think so, because he would kick your ass. I'm 6'5" and he'd whoop me too.
He helps our Heels win lots of games. Beating Dook is the best feeling (in sports, specifically). Why don't you do some research on Tar Heel basketball history, and find out that The Heels Just Win, baby. Some dude named Jordan was criticised, just like you are bashing Tyler...MJ turned that criticism into being the best in the game...ever! Let's see what Tyler will do from here on out.
Only dookies whine like you do. My friend has a little white dog- a real pain in the ass ankle-biter, pees on the carpets and whines all the time. He calls the litle sucker Christian Hurley Krzyzewski.
Go Heels!

Anonymous said...

you are a retard...get laid...

Anonymous said...

However, Duke still cant manage to beat them! UNC for life! didn't duke lose to VCU! is that even a school! thats worse than Michigan losing to Appalachian state! dukies don't have any room to talk!

Anonymous said...

You people who commented about this top 10 list who said the author needs to "get a life" possibly need to get one too, or at least a new vocabulary. You called the author "retard," "loser," "dude," "baby," and a "dookie" fan. Really? Sounds like we're trapped in the seventh grade.. in the 80s. And sounds like y'all are doing the same kind of name-calling you are criticizing him for doing.

Gary V from Saint Louis said...

Hi Kevin,
Great read. I could not agree with you more. I have always thought Tyler Hansbrough was a whiner and a flopper, and then I saw him play in person versus Saint Louis U last December. Seeing him play in person magnified his whiny status even more. UNC won by a huge margin, but through the entire game Tyler whined and cried about every little touch he received. Wow. There is more to life than being a whiney crybaby. Grow up, Tyler. Play the game like a man.

chels26 said...

dude you suck at life if your going to try and hate on tyler. he is a great bball player and thats why he plays for unc. duke sucks. and maybe you sould make a list about some of dukes players, it wouldnt take you long because they are bad. so next time your going to try to hate against somebody do it on somebody else than the number 1 player for si.

p.s. carolina rocks!!!! go tar heels!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

screw you man. what are you? some dook fan that couldnt get in so you just like to insult everyone better that you. tyler is probably 100 times the man you'll ever be if all you can do is put other people. get a life.

Anonymous said...

your first problem is you are a duke fan and you compared unc to duke there is no comparison. when you actually go to a school like unc and can play a game like him well then you can talk shit but untill then shut your dumb ass mouth. obviously everyone agrees YOU SUCK!

Tar heels have been and always will be better then duke and tyler will always be better then you no matter how hard you try to make him look bad.

stick to your day job buddy said...

So you are trying to have people hate Tyler because he is really white? or because he cried once.. when he broke his nose? and because he tried to put more points on the board in the last couple of seconds in a game?

how about you think before you post this kind of crap..if i anything, i got a few laughs out of this post because it is one of the lamest things i have ever read.
Tyler is a phenomenal athlete who puts his heart in every play of the game... learn from it.

you are an idiot said...

Just to let you know. I totally agree with everyone on here. YOu are an idiot. Tyler hansbrough is more of a man that you will ever be. I would love to see you get your haten ass on that court. Please! until you can show you got skills i would shut your mouth and watch what you post on the internet because i can guarentee I can play basketball better than you& i am a girl. Duke is overrated. so get over it.

Carrie from NC! said...

Oh & Gary V from St.Louis.
What a man you are?!? Men cry some people cry b/c they are pissed off not b/c they are being "winey" so shut the hell up and get a life. Tyler has the best skills i have seen on a court i have seen in a while..and even though he is out for the first few games dont mean that he wont kick dukes ass when it comes to game time!

Anonymous said...

u are just jealous of him because he beats dooks ass every time they play

Anonymous said...

tyler hansbrough is one of the best players out there and your just jelous he can school you. He is left in a game because he is an outstanding basketball player not a show off. And have you ever went to the basket with out your arms moving its not a foul its skill.

Anonymous said...

are you going to hate on Michael Jordan too! huh... you can call him a whiner all you want but how about you try to not cry when you break you nose!